2006...Resolutions anyone?

Another lap completed, another lap begun in the race of life. Oh, sheer brilliance. Someone quick! Write that down!

I share in the complete surprise that another year has been put to rest. Yes, I own a calendar; it should not have been so shocking. It is too cliche to say that this year flew. To a certain extent, it didn't. Some of it was slow and sweet. Spring seemed like a stroll. Immediately followed by a runaway train summer that was happier than I could have ever expected given the circumstances.

Lots of lolling over was done in my 2005. I think I thought too much. Over thinking brings over analyzing brings over-self-scrutiny...I made that last one up and it works because I used a hyphen.

It was a year of surprises. I surprised myself more than anyone or anything else did. I developed a relationship with my sister that I never thought I'd have. I lived differently. I got a New Year's resolution seven whole months late. Yet, I've stuck to it. I'm happier than I've been in a really long time...which is pretty amazing given that I am generally a happy person to start. At nearing 26 I feel most like myself than I ever have. Things seem to be under control here.

With the most important New Year's resolution now a full five months old today, I have room to spare for a new resolution. At this time, I'd like to thank my friend Steve for an inspiring asskicking on Friday night. If there were to be a resolution for 2006, then he penned it on a paper napkin at the Telephone Bar in NYC over some Red Stripes and a few cigarettes. However, I think I'm leaving this year's blank.

When the ball dropped last night, I began to think about Eves past. In the ten second countdown I would usually do a fast mental recap of the year's events with footnotes of what I liked about those moments and what I would have changed. Then, with seconds to spare, I'd make a wish, visualize what I'd like to see in next year's montage. This year, however, I was dry. I saw everything that happened, but I could not muster up even the faintest image of what is to come. I wonder how I would have panicked about this in years past. Does the absence of a futuristic vision mean no future at all? Is it death? Does it mean I have lost my sense of imagination? Or of hope? A year wiser, I think that it means that 2006 will be a year that cannot be imagined. For whatever reason, it wants to drop no hints. It needs to open slowly and reveal itself when it is ready.

In 2005, I learned patience. In 2006, I shall learn to put patience to practice.

Happy New Year.