Ughsters.

This entry shall hereby be referred to as ughsters because, well, that's how I feel right now. UGH. Big huge UGH.

Without getting into too much detail, some things in life just plain suck. Here you are - happy little so-and-so going about your life, doing the right thing, minding your own business and BAM! Life fucking slams you in the ass. Like, "Hey there, buddy! Don't get so comfy!" Your fiance (not mine...not that I have one...not that I want one necessarily...I am perfectly content with my unengaged self right now, even though all of my friends are getting married - it's going around like the fucking plague...ANYWAY!!!) walks out on you or our boss fires you (after rehiring you...not me either) and you're left feeling like all was for naught. Like, what the fuck? Why work so hard and get shit on in the end???

I don't know...I can't help but feel like that's not the case. Perhaps it's the optimist in me (yes, optimist...I am one...even though my friends try to tell me I'm not...I still, optimistically, believe in my optimism and, in an act of optimistic defiance, feel obligated to go forth through life from hereon out spreading this optimism which I feel whole-heartedly) but I believe that everything happens for a reason. I know, it sounds like a lame way to explain away all of life's fuck-ups, but if for no other reason than having a shitty way to explain away such fuck-ups, I like it. And, I do believe it to be true. In the end, the finance will pay (hopefully with a shit load of STDs and a 25 to life term) and the boss will get what he deserves (for lack of a better punishment - a shitload of STDs...).

Karma comes around. However, sometimes karma takes its time. And I may be an optimist, but I am certainly NOT patient. So, I am resorting to an old Italian curse. Here's how it's done: You write someone's name on a piece of paper and put it in your freezer. It guarantees something bad will happen to them (see the STD wishes above). Yeah, so there! Don't fuck with Italian folklore!

Anyway, I have to run...there's this walk-in freezer I want to look at and I have to get Staples before they close...I need some poster board...............for the freezer.

NJ Parkway

Marie, Guy, and I ventured down the NJ Parkway to Joe Stef-a-poo-poo's graduation party in Brick, NJ. A normal 1 hour long drive took a whopping 3 hours. I tried to explain away the congestion to my out of towner friends..."Yikes, 4th of July traffic sucks, right?"..."Oh, uh, the traffic pattern changes must have these drivers confused!!"..."Out of towners can't drive!!...Uh...I mean...how 'bout some music?" After 2 1/2 hours of bumper to bumper boredom, the traffic vanished but what was left? A rigor-mortis-induced deer on the grass next to the left lane...HAVE THESE PEOPLE NEVER SEEN A DEAD DEER!?!?!? This is New Jersey, idiots. On my way to work I pass several dead deer and the New Jersey Commission of Dead Animal Removal isn't real quick on the pick ups. So, I kinda get close the road kill... "Mornin' Millie!"..."How's it hangin' Hank?" -- a week can go by before my dead, dear, deer friends are removed. It's not like seeing a dead deer is something special. I've seen more unique roadkill...dogs, cats...So, what's the big freakin' deal???? JUST DRIVE.

They Made Me Do It

I was out to dinner with some college friends last week and they were telling me to get one of these blogs. I listened. I'm not sure why - a lack of individualism...zero power over peer pressure...a need for someone read about the boring ongoings of my suburban existence. Regardless, here 'tis. I think the standard protocol is to write about my day.

Today I went to beach. By summer's end I'd like to be so dark that strangers might mistake me for some exotic model who is visiting America for the summer... They will take pictures of me, but only my teeth will show up in the prints. This evening I joined my friends for a night on the town...in Montville... usually there is no"on the town" in a town such as Montville, but 4th of July weekend is an exception. People you haven't seen (or wanted to see) in ages fill the athletic fields of MTHS to watch the fire works. Thankfully, our taxes here in Mo-ville are so high that we can fund a glittery pyrotechnic display for a cool 1/2 mil. And folks, they were worth every penny. God Bless America.